yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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