after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
