dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
