No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
