Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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