I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
