Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
