He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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