Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
