Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
