i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
