He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
