i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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