It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
