found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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