I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
