Banned from zoo.
Again?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
