Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
