Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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