So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
