garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
