dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
