My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't turn off my feet"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
