Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Houston, we have a squirter
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
