There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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