Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I stole a fireplace last night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
