if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
