I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
