So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
