you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
