Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
