my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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