He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
