I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
