its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
