were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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