Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
