you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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