thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
