She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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