So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
