splinters make it hard to masturbate
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
