I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You ruined the universe
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
