I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
