Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
