He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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