Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
