would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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