porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
