It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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