You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
