yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
