This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
